Behavior Is a Message
In nineteen years of this work, I've lost count of how many times I have heard a version of this from a teacher: I am struggling with this child. I need help.
I used to read that sentence as a request for expertise, and I’ve learned that there’s more to it than that. A teacher who reaches out for help has hit a point where he has exhausted his toolbox and needs more than teaching tips to help him problem-solve.
The lens an administrator tends to bring is behavior management, which is only part of the picture. The question should not only be how to respond to what the child is doing but also what the classroom demands are. Behavior is a child's communication about her needs, and a referral process needs to also address the environment.
What makes this more urgent now than it was a generation ago is that the children in classrooms have changed in ways that most behavior management frameworks have not yet accounted for. Developmental psychologists Peter Gray, David Lancy, and David Bjorklund, along with social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, have documented a generational shift in how children arrive at school: with less unstructured time, less unsupervised social negotiation, less experience tolerating discomfort and boredom, and nervous systems that have had fewer opportunities to develop the internal regulation that classroom environments demand. Recognizing this as a generational shift rather than a failure of parents, teachers, or schools is key to designing spaces that work for teachers and children alike.
I developed a checklist from two perspectives: being the teacher and being the administrator. What I learned is that coming to the conversation with a shared understanding is what made those conversations more meaningful. Once I was comfortable in my practice as a teacher, I had the bandwidth to ask my supervisor to look for something specific. As the observer, I give teachers the framework so they know what I'm looking for.
The checklist asks for concrete information from the classroom and detailed information about behavior. It fits on two pages, takes ten to fifteen minutes to complete, and is designed to help the teacher develop a framework for problem-solving.
When a teacher finally asks for help, it’s important that the problem-solving includes the teacher in order to reduce the risk of burnout. A teacher who feels heard becomes a collaborator, not someone waiting to be told what to do. Teachers who feel their contextual knowledge is valued trust the referral process enough to use it before difficulties compound. A trusting working relationship is one of the most effective early intervention strategies a school has.
A referral process designed well is an entry point to a collaborative, problem-solving partnership. An embedded specialist, one who co-observes, co-designs, and helps teachers build the vocabulary for what they're seeing, builds something that lasts. It produces teachers who see their own classrooms more clearly, and children who don't have to leave the room to be understood. A specialist who works as a separate silo, pulling children out and returning reports, can feel efficient and manageable. The downside is that it rarely builds understanding.
Note: AI was used to assist with copyediting and refining this post.